Bullying Mentality: Adults Do It Too

Bullying is such an underrated form of abuse that has an effect even from a child’s perspective. Bullying can be seen or described as physical or verbal aggression that is practiced over a long period of time. In schools, we know that children bully their peers or fellow students because of self-esteem issues which sometimes are coupled with issues involving their family dynamics. According to an article on MedicineNet about 28% of young people between the ages of 11 and 18 are or at some point have been victims of bullying. Bullying includes so much controversy because some bullies, especially those who have never been bullied before, actually have high self-esteem. Another hard reality when it comes to bullying, especially in schools, is that usually teachers verbal or even physical bullying as an important or urgent matter. Some parents don’t even know their children are being bullied until something drastic happens. Another sad realisation we have to come to with matters of bullying is that it can also occur in workplaces and other aspects of an adult’s life.

Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

Like child bullies, adult bullies direct their aggressions and frustrations through bullying to other people for various reasons. Bullies have an uncapped need to be in control of people in some way, hence the aggression and constant put down. On top of that, in order to be able to possess that much aggression and frustration towards another person, there has to be an absence of empathy. Because of this, it is possible to conclude that most bullies in fact lack empathy. Bullies who have been bullied before however, they are described as being more aggressive than bullies who have never been bullied. Adults, like children, live in a very competitive world and at times some adults feel that the best way to climb up the social ladder is by putting down others. There are various reasons why adults, in particular, bully other adults; either they feel entitled, they feel socially in a higher position in society or they feel less accomplished than their victim or other underlying childhood traumas such as bullying, abandonment or growing up in an environment that has no empathy or affection.

Photo by Andrea Picquadio from Pexels

Whether it is in the workplace, in friendship groups, social clubs, families and so forth, bullying among adults, always finds a way to make one’s life easier and the other’s a living hell. Bullying in adults is slightly different in terms of never really having to outgrow the damage it has on a person’s reputation. For instance, being bullied in the workplace by a colleague or your boss can escalate to a point of you losing confidence in your own work or being tarnished as a professional. Bullying in the workplace, especially between a person in a lower position and a person in a higher position is very common and can result in so much emotional, professional and psychological damage between these individuals and the companies they are working for. All in all being bullied as an adult can have a devastating toll on a person and at some point you won’t pretty much appreciate your life.

Photo by Yan Krukov from Pexels

How to bring yourself out of a bully’s clutches:

• Remember that by feeling bad because of your experience you acknowledge that you are in fact being mistreated and you are having your rights as a person taken away.

• Don’t blame yourself for another person’s actions. People should take accountability or be held accountable for their actions without victims feeling like they are at fault because they are being picked apart.

• Build a support structure that you can always trust and know will bring you out of the deep end. This can be your friends, family, partner and so forth.

• Avoid these means human beings at all costs. Block them on all social media platforms if you have to. Walk the other way if you see them coming. Just stay out of their reach.

• Don’t let them determine when you get to be happy and for how long. Remember they thrive on being in control of your life.

• If the situation escalates to a dangerous level, keep a record of all their actions. You can do this by keeping a visual diary or a journal.

• Forgiveness is always in your best interest but…. We are taught to always forgive the people who do us wrong but this doesn’t always mean we have to forget all the trauma they put us through.

• This point draws on the previous point. You can be nice to the people who hurt you but be sure to let them know that there are boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed.

• Finally, love yourself abundantly every single day. The more you practice how to be kind to yourself and love yourself more every day is the better you will learn how you should be treated by other people.

In the end, it is all up to us how we allow people to affect us and to what point we are willing to let people take charge of our happiness. Bullying whether at schools amongst children, by adults towards children or by adults towards other adults can never be an acceptable part of reality because like any other form of abuse it leaves victims with scars that will take long to heal. Some people overcome the pressure and rise above it but other can easily lose themselves in everything and give in.